AND JUST LIKE THAT, I’M ALMOST DONE

It’s amazing how much things can change in a day or two.

All my papers are done.

As for my students, all the ones that handed their papers in on time are graded.  That leaves four, or, as I like to call it, ONE.  Three of them are more than likely NOT going to be handing in their papers.  That’s life, I suppose.

I’m no longer doing the Student History Conference, because it interfered with my time to pick up my kids.  Somethings are way more important than a History Conference.

I still have one presentation to give, but it’s been done for like four weeks, so there’s no ACTUAL work left.

All in all, this semester is pretty much OVER.  I’m excited.

Now it’s time with the kids for the next four days, and then it’s Thesis time.

What?  You didn’t think the stress actually ever ended, did you? 

Semester Update

Well, it’s that time of the year.  My semester ends next Wednesday around 4PM.  I can’t wait.

As of right this second, the rest of this semester involves:

A ten page paper for Hilderbrand on Joseph McCarthy

Two more days worth of notes for the class I teach.

I have to give 2 presentations still, but they’re both written.

Oh, and then I have a small presentation to prepare for the Student History Conference on Thursday.

And grading 14 more final papers from my students.  That’s right, the first 8 are done already!  And they’re not even due until tomorrow night.

Really, I’m not doing that badly.  I’m actually ahead for the first time in years.

Then, as soon as the semester is over, I’m immediately turning around to work on my thesis, which is currently around 10,000 words, so it’s about half done.  After that, it’s devotion to my novel and finding a job.  Yay me!

I’ll keep you updated.  If you’re in town, swing by and say hello.  I may be stressed, but damn it, I love distractions.

My Current Favorite Commercials

Well, some of you know why…

Why you shouldn’t believe everything you see. ;)

MY USD BLOG

No, I’m not leaving wordpress.  It’s just a way to reach out to more people!

http://blogs.usd.edu/Jsabata/

UPDATE

I know it’s been a while since I’ve posted anything on here. I’ve been going semi-crazy, to be honest. The semester is kicking the shit out of me. Not knowing where I’ll be in another four months is fucking with my head, and there are just other little things that driving me nuts.

The upsides of my life include that I get to see my kids again in three weeks. I’m hitting Lincoln for a weekend in two weeks. And, in the meantime, I’m working on the thesis.

Thesis is going well, by all accounts. I just wish it would go faster. The first thesis was creative writing, so it more or less came together as fast as I could go. This one is filled with a lot of research and proper citations – time consuming bullshit. ; ) I’m looking for people crazy enough to read through it and tell me what they think of it once it’s done, but before it goes before the committee. If that sounds like something you’d be interested in, shoot me an email and let me know.

I’m really happy with my relationship status right now… ; )

I’ve been working on my latest novel. The research that went into it is way more impressive than the amount I put into Thesis… There will come a day I’ll need readers for that as well. ; )

Diet came and went without much of a fight. I’m going to try it again, but not when I’m in the middle of a crest of stress.

Scott is safe and sound wherever the army sent him this time.

Finally, may I simply say that I love you all and I miss you all. If we haven’t talked in a while, drop me a line.

Hope all is well.

One of my favorite SNL moments

I hate the news…

Why is there not a single day that goes by that I can read the news and not say the words, “WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE?”

Here’s just another example.

CLICK HERE

More Great Commercials

<object id=’VideoPlayback’ type=’application/x-shockwave-flash’ height=’280′ width=’320′>

AES - Hilarious

CLICK HERE  for the funniest thing I’ve read in a long time!

MORE SWPL

God, I love StuffWhitePeopleLike.  It may be the best blog ever written.  I’m still holding out hope that Vegas is number 100! But this one totally cracked me up, especially the last line!

GRAD SCHOOL

G. Soljahz!

I’d like to point out that this car was seen in Vermillion, South Dakota — In the parking lot at Wal-Mart. LOL

Wow. Too much time on their hands!

FINE. I QUIT.

I know it took me seven years longer than the rest of America, but here it is, people:

I NO LONGER SUPPORT PRESIDENT GEORGE W. BUSH.

As someone that voted for him twice, supported him through many ridiculous moves, and even occasionally worked to prove his detractors wrong, I am no longer able to view him as having any redeeming qualities after his veto of the waterboarding ban.

For any of you who think that perhaps waterboarding is some sort of extreme sport, let me explain. Waterboarding is torture. More or less, you immobilize the person on their back, on a sloping surface, so their head is lower than the rest of their body. Then, you continuously pour water over their face and into their breathing passages, forcing suffocation and inhalation of water. As opposed to submerging the head in water, waterboarding almost immediately elicits the gag reflex. It carries several fun side effects as well, such extreme pain, damage to the lungs, brain damage from oxygen deprivation, and even death (Thank you, Wikipedia).

The best part? This was heavily used during the Spanish Inquistion. I’m so glad America if finally catching up to THAT period of history.

If you support torture, I don’t support you, so I guess, Mr. President, you can stick me in with the terrorists, because since I ain’t with ya, I must be agin ya.

CLICK HERE TO SEE WHY I TURNED MY BACK ON BUSH

M*A*SH

What MASH character are you? created with QuizFarm.com

You scored as Hawkeye You love your gin, and your jokes. you are the head doctor on the mash medical staff. You are a true friend, and quite a ladies man (or the female equivalent). Hawkeye 82% Father Mulkayhe 36% Margaret Houlihan 25% Radar O’Reilly 21% Colonel Potter 21% Max Klinger 21% Henry Blake 18% Frank Burns 18% Charles Emerson Winchester III 14% BJ Hunnicut 7%

BALLOONS!

Just Because

A Sad Day In Football World

Brett Favre has retired.

That’s Just Awesome

Beware of Your Surroundings

I know it’s been making its rounds, but I couldn’t resist.

LMFAO

I made my graphic design friend, Kandi hook me up with this picture. I hope you find it as funny as I do!

M*A*S*H

Last night marked the 25th anniversary of the last episode of M*A*S*H.

Wow.

That’s amazing to me.

PUTTING THE CHOKEHOLD ON HISTORY

My friends and I are launching a new blog devoted to our chit chat about Professional Wrestling. No, I don’t expect you to go there or to enjoy it, but I thought I’d link to the prototype for it anyway, and you could read my ramblings on Chris Benoit.

Enjoy.

CLICK HERE

THE BEST COMMERCIAL EVER

Oh Wally World, why must you be so illiterate?

CLEARLY, these are cows.

SNL STUFF FROM LAST NIGHT - Made me smile

I HATE YOU GIAMBATTISTA VICO

So I’m stuck reading a lot of Giambattista Vico’s work - THE NEW SCIENCE and his AUTOBIOGRAPHY… That may not actually be a LOT, but good lord it feels like the end of the world.

Oddly, I really like his theories, I’m just hating the 700+ pages of translated Italian.

Maybe I don’t ACTUALLY hate Giambattista Vico, but I’m definitely hating that he had so much time on his hands.

1 0 2 D A Y S

THE ANTI-DRUG

It seems like too much work to repost them all, so check out my link to my other blog.

JUST CLICK HERE!!!!

MY NEW FAVORITE BLOG!

STUFF WHITE PEOPLE LIKE

HOCKEY — Richard Zednik’s Neck Cut By Jokinen

I’m a huge hockey fan, and I’m a big fan of the Buffalo Sabres, and I’m kind of notorious for claiming they should kill their opponents, but this one freaked me the fuck out. I don’t normally pray when sports are involved, but even I found myself praying on this one.

This is such an unbelievably freak accident.

I am honestly just hoping Zednik is alright in the long run.

Harry In The Hood

Just for fun, had to add this one!  I know I posted it like eight months ago on my old blog, but it’s back!

I once cut a house elf just to take his sneakers!  LOL

MY NEW TOY - Arriving In A Mailbox Near Me (Any Day Now)

For Bryan, Who Demanded I Repost It

THE RETURN OF THE ME

Thanks to the advice of a friend, who claimed my blog had become stagnant and boring, I am returning to my original vision of Intellectual Intercourse and posting crazy dating advice, Random observations, and, of course, “important” YouTube videos. I hope you all welcome the resurgence of II. So I’m going to kick of this revamp with three important lessons in the art of dating. Each based on what I see go down way too often.  Enjoy.

 

Rejecting Rejection

Rejection is the single most powerful element keeping people from attempting to hit on one another.  Rejection can be devastating and make people not even want to try anymore.  It’s annoying.  I’ve been a victim of this line of thought throughout my life.  After my last major break up, I spent weeks sitting around, thinking about what went wrong, what I did wrong, etc.  Then, one day, I woke up and thought, “What the hell happened to the old me?” 

You see, the old me would have been upset at the loss of such a thing, but would have also enjoyed the memories of the good times, and, more importantly, moved on to the next one. 

I see it all the time.  I hear people saying, “I’d like to ask her out.” Or “I wish I could talk to him.”  But the only thing holding these people back is themselves, and the main reason is fear of rejection. 

I know this is going to sound harsh, but I honestly can’t help on this one.  This is the one thing in dating which has to be completely 100% handled on your own.  But, I’m going to attempt to explain what it is that needs to be done, and why it is so important to any other “lesson” I might offer you after this point.

Here we go.  Ready?

Rejection doesn’t matter.

So you got turned down.  So they don’t want you.  DEAL WITH IT.  Move on.

You can spend your whole life worried about it, or you can chalk it up as experience and move forward.  Rejection is sucky, but you know what?  So is thinking about it forever.  Rejection as rejection is a negative emotion.  Rejection used as experience is a positive, as it teaches you something.  You still get something positive out of it. 

So, in a nut shell:  Rejection doesn’t matter.

Once you have accepted rejection, and have come to view it as a positive instead of a negative, you will no longer fear it.  Once you do not fear rejection, you can literally talk to / hit on anyone.  The confidence you gain simply by not fearing rejection will make a huge change in your dating life. 

THE THREE SECOND RULE

I don’t know how many times I’ve sat and watched guys try desperately to make eye contact with a certain girl at the bar, and then pretend they were looking at something else the moment she looks back. This is so disturbing to me. If I like a girl, I might make eye contact, but I would hold it once she acknowledges it, because then I’m not just staring at her when she’s not looking. However, the whole sitting across the room, watching the girl from a distance thing also usually leads to this problem where you end up watching her talk to a million other guys who actually had the balls to walk up to her in the meantime.

So why do guys (and girls) do something so blatantly counter-productive to their goals? Because they’re scared of rejection (which we just covered). But there’s more to it than that. A lot of people psyche themselves out before they even try. I have a friend, who’s a good looking guy, fun to be around, intelligent, the kind of guy girls claim to like. Until last month, he literally went almost a year without a date. He would see a girl, and then try to find the perfect opening line, and then talk himself out of talking to her, and then watch her leave with someone else. Or worse, watch her go home alone.

This is where the almighty Three Second Rule comes into play. The longer you hesitate, the more insecure you appear. Girls like confidence. You don’t have to walk up and be the Alpha Male. You simply have to make contact. The Three Second Rule simply means that as soon as you see a girl that you might be interested in, you immediately make contact. You walk up and initiate conversation. It doesn’t have to be anything fantastic. A simple “hello” followed by a compliment on the book she’s holding or her choice of beverage can be enough. She will see you’re confident enough to talk to a total stranger, and the compliment shows you’re interested in what she’s doing, not just what she looks like without her clothes.

Acting within three seconds is important for two reasons. One, you don’t have enough time to talk yourself out of talking to her. Two, she will see that you’re confident enough in yourself as a person to put yourself out there (whether you think you are or not, you just did). Hesitation is the death of any chance you had, before it even began. She will see you as self-doubting and unsure of your abilities. She might also take it as you are waiting for “something better” to come along. What girl wants to be with a guy who doesn’t want to be with her?

Also, with the three second rule, you have no reason to wait for eye contact or for the perfect line. There is no perfect line. No girl wants to hear a line anyway. They want you. Acting within three seconds gives them you, not some line.

You might be nervous as hell. That’s perfectly fine. The key to the three second rule is that you don’t have time to be nervous. If you’re nervous once she’s talking to you, who cares? You’ve already made the most important move. It’s the very first impression that counts most, and that impression was that you made a move. You initiated contact. You chose her. Her feelings will almost always be automatically positive for you from the start because of this. This will, in turn, silence your self-doubting voice, and allow you to gain more self-confidence.

It is NOT an absolute rule. You may not be free to talk to her instantly. This is in regard to ACTUAL reasons you can’t talk to her, such as being in the middle of a conversation with someone else, etc. Or perhaps you didn’t see her the second she walked in the door. The Three Second Rule is meant for the moment you have spotted her, and you are free to approach her. However, that does not give you the freedom to make up excuses as to when your Three Seconds begins. The point of the rule is stop making excuses and make a move. So do it. You’ll thank me later.

Final note on the Three Second Rule: The Three Second Rule will not guarantee that they will want to talk to you. It will greatly improve your chances, but nothing with the opposite sex is an absolute. If she does not return the interest, move on. Dwelling on any rejection would be counter productive to what we’re doing here.

PHONE NUMBERS

I am so sick of people and phone numbers. I don’t know how many times I’ve wanted to slap one of my friends for saying, “I gave her my number.” That’s all good and well, but now the power is completely in her hands. That’s fine if you want to be friends, or if it’s someone you’ve known for a while, but not if you’re shooting for the hookup or a date or something more. Never EVER just give the girl your number. If she has your number, she has the power. If you have her number, you have the power. If you have each other’s number, you’re good to go, plus, it’s obvious to BOTH of you that this is an actual possibility. Also, it prevents anyone from losing the number. This way, there is a backup plan.

The other thing about Phone Numbers is that you can’t be overly pushy. A lot of guys straight out fail instantly with phone numbers because they ask. If you don’t ask a question, she can’t say no. The easiest way I have found to get/give numbers is to carry a pen and a small pad of paper in your pocket. While you’re talking, pull out the pad and write your number on the top half of one of the sheets. Rip the sheet out, and rip it in half. Hand her the ripped paper and the pen, all without breaking your speech flow. She will instinctively know to write her number on the other piece of paper and give it and the pen back to you. If she doesn’t, then take it as a sign, and go. Odds are, she’s not calling you, so don’t worry about that part. And if she does, you’ll have her number then, so what have you lost? DO NOT ASK FOR A PHONE NUMBER. EVER.

One final note about phone numbers: Never ask for (presuming you’re still dumb enough to do that) or accept a number you have no intention of using. If there is absolutely no way you will be talking to this person on the phone, there is no need for an exchange of numbers. A lot of people give out fake numbers or give a number and then later ignore the person. Don’t do it. It may sting for a moment or two that you’re not interested, but so what? In the long run, you’d be hurting the other person a lot more by making them believe there was a chance.

LIFE JUST GOT BETTER

THE DARK KNIGHT

July 18, 2008!

Life just got better.

RANDOM OBSERVATIONS II

When talking to the brother of the girl you spent the night with, who doubles as one of your best friends, don’t even mention a “Super Sensual Massage.” Odds are, you will screw up and say, “Super Sexual Massage.” While he may laugh his ass off, because you’ve been friends for 23 years, the fact remains that you will be highly embarrassed. Of course, this is pretty much completely non-necessary advice, as I’m the only person alive who could make this mistake, and I’ve already learned from it.

If someone asks you a question, just answer it. If I say, “What time should I be there?” Don’t respond with, “I have to take a shower.” What the hell does that mean? I don’t know how long it takes you to take a shower. Just say, “A half hour,” or “Two hours.” My shower and your shower do not take the same amount of time. “I have to take a shower” means nothing to me other than thank god she won’t smell on our date.

In this same line of thinking, if I say “Where do you want to eat?” Don’t respond with “I don’t care” unless you ACTUALLY don’t care. If you say “I don’t care” and I say “Then we’re going to Wendy’s,” you are not allowed to say, “I don’t want to go to Wendy’s. You had your freaken chance. You couldn’t commit. Too bad.

Why do people whine so much when you defriend them from MySpace or Facebook or don’t accept their friendship requests? I’m pretty easy going. I’ll add anyone. I don’t care if I know you or not, provided you’re not a spammer… at the same time, I don’t get overly mad if you don’t add me. I really just don’t care. Yet, I’ll be in the library or at a friends’ house, and they’re freaking out going through their whole friend list trying to figure out who has just defriended them. What the hell’s up with that?

Final Observation – I think I’m spending way too much time updating this blog with things no one else cares about.

IT’S NOT ALL FLOWERS AND SORRYS

Everywhere I go lately, it seems like people are screwing up and hurting others, but no one seems capable of cranking out a proper apology. Most people do not even seem to know what constitutes a proper apology. I have witnessed an amazing amount of bad behavior, and people just stand there in situations that seem to have APOLOGIZE written all over them… and they do nothing. Or, worse in my book, people that make pseudo-apologies and then do the same thing all over again.

I’ve come to the conclusion that I must explain not only when to apologize to someone, but how to go about it.

WHEN DO YOU APOLOGIZE?

You need to apologize every single time you do something that is wrong or that is hurtful to someone else – whether you meant to hurt them or not. Now, this is hard for a lot of people because it involves doing something most people are not good at – admitting that they’re not right. It doesn’t matter if you’re right or not. If the other person is hurt by something you did, and you want to maintain a good relationship with this person, you need to apologize for whatever it is that upset them.

IT’S NOT ALL FLOWERS AND SORRYS

An apology is so much more than simply saying “I’m sorry.” Don’t get me wrong, saying “I’m sorry” is a big part of it, but it’s really just the beginning. The other person needs to know that you recognize that what you did was hurtful and possibly wrong, that you feel bad about whatever cold, callous, hellacious thing you did, and that you GENUINELY want to do your best not to do it again. If it was a really bad thing that you did, you may need to discuss just what the hell you were thinking when you did it, as well as showing a gesture of sincere regret. If your apology does not have all of these pieces to it, it will not come across as sincere in the slightest bit.

IMPORTANT – It is not enough to say you’re sorry and then not change your behavior. Without the desire to not reenact this atrocity you’ve concocted, your apology isn’t worth a pile of magic beans.

INSINCERE APOLOGIES

Let’s be overly honest for a second. If you’re only apologizing because you want the other person to keep liking you, or because you want to smooth things over, but don’t actually understand what you’ve done to upset them, or just don’t give a rat’s ass that what you’ve done has upset them, and you have no desire to change your ways, but you say “I’m sorry” anyway, you’re giving an insincere apology. This is lying. It is condescending. It’s really misleading. In fact, if you do this, you now owe the person ANOTHER apology.

Insincere apologies are like false advertising. You’re pretending you’re doing something you’re not. You’re pretending to be something you’re not. When you apologize to a person, that person assumes that you are willing to do all the things we’ve already talked about – admit it, accept it, apologize for it, and try to change it. If you aren’t willing to do all of that, then you’re really not only misrepresenting your intentions, you’re adding to your own crappy behavior.

And just bringing a girl flowers as a way of saying you’re sorry is not acceptable. The flowers will be dead in five days. Your apology better not be.

I DIDN’T DO ANYTHING WRONG

There are times that you will feel, whether rightly or wrongly, that you have nothing to apologize for. If there’s a situation that you want to smooth over, but you don’t actually feel badly about it or have any desire to change your behavior, there are other ways of doing so than going with the insincere apology. Try saying something to the effect of “I’m sorry that you were hurt by me saying/doing/being (enter your own mistake here).” This gives the other person the chance to see that you want to work things out, but that you probably won’t be changing your behavior in the near future. That leaves it up to them to decide whether or not they can live with that.

FINAL THOUGHTS

Plain and simple, if you did something wrong and you feel bad, and you want to make a change, apologize. If you don’t want to apologize, don’t apologize. We live in a world where people expect apologies. I disagree completely. I would rather you tell me straight out, “I’m not going to apologize, because I (and then explain your reasoning), but I think we can work around this and remain friends/dating/married/etc.” I would much rather have that than an insincere piece of crap apology where you go out and do the same thing ten minutes or fourteen days later. Don’t just say it. Mean it.

RANDOM OBSERVATIONS

1. If you’re going to sing karaoke on Wednesday nights at Maya Jane’s, please make sure your zipper is up. It’s quite distracting if you’re gyrating your hips, but all I can stare at is your zipper.

2. The University seems like it could have save a lot of cash by just demolishing the Coyote Student Center, paving the area, putting little yellow lines all over it, and giving me a new place to park. I’m sure the new one will be nice, and I’m sure that every day, people will stand in it, complaining that they couldn’t find a parking spot.

3. I admire anyone with the guts to have a sexual encounter in the study rooms in the library, but for god’s sake, get one without a window. My eyes are still burning.

4. Hornsby’s Amber Draft - Where have you been all my life?

5. More teachers should have the last day of class at Carey’s. Just a thought.

6. If your ringtone annoys you, you probably shouldn’t have it. Yet, I constantly hear people complaining about how much they hate their own ringtones. What the hell?

KEEPING YOUR OPTIONS OPEN

I want to talk about options and I want to use Tove Aldrich’s article, The T-Spot: Dating in Vermillion Leaves You ‘Screwed,’ as a jumping point, but this is in no way simply a response to that now infamous T-Spot article. Maybe I’m reading it wrong (which seems to be a common accusation), but I didn’t feel that she was telling everyone to go whoring around, but simply to keep your options open.

But my problem with the article has nothing to do with what she did or did not say or mean to say or with what she supposedly was or was not telling people to go do. It has to do with the fact that the article was limited to Vermillion, like this is just some sort of a disease that survives here and nowhere else. In my opinion, dating, in general, will leave you screwed. I also have a problem with the fact that so many people seem to feel the same way as Tove.

What happened to forever? When did it quit being an option? What happened to a girl being interested in something more than a night or two of fun (or possibly even a few months of good times) but nothing more? What happened to “something more?”

To clarify, I don’t mean forever like a children’s fairy tale. I’m not talking about Princes and Princesses falling madly in love at first sight. I’m not even necessarily talking about happy ever after. I’m simply questioning the status of being with someone with the goal of an actual relationship. What happened to boyfriend/girlfriend as something more than a facebook status? What happened to meeting each other’s families? Getting to know each other?

Don’t get me wrong, there’s really nothing wrong with the occasional hook up, booty call, or one night stand. I guess I’m just looking for something more.

As almost anyone in Vermtown can tell you, sex is everywhere, if you’re willing to get it. You can pick up girls/guys at the bars, the games, even the library if you try. So it’s not like hookups aren’t going to happen. I mean, there’s a study on page B4 of the current issue of the Volante entitled, “Survey Says Hook Ups Rising Among College Students” showing that more young people are getting into relationships and not just having one night stands. However, the cynical part of me can’t help but wonder how warped the results are in that it doesn’t take the almighty booty call into account. I’ve hooked up with a few girls that solely want it when they want it, and don’t want any of the other BS that goes with a relationship, and I understand the beauty of the concept. I really do.

I just wish there was something more out there. It’s getting harder and harder to believe that there is, though.

Perhaps that’s it. Maybe it really is that simple. Maybe it’s not that people want to date several people at once, but that no one wants to deal with all the other stuff that goes with being in a relationship. If you never get to know the other person, you don’t have to worry about getting hurt. You don’t have to feel you’ve missed your shot. You never have to worry about finding that the other person loves someone new. You don’t have to deal with all the awkward feelings when they go on a date with some other guy. Perhaps forever doesn’t matter. Perhaps it really is enough to grab some dinner, open some Syrah, kick back and watch Grandma’s Boy with that girl you’ve always liked. But it would be nice to know that it could lead to forever.

I just think that if we’re going to keep our options open, it’s better that we keep them all open.